Posts Tagged ‘Leadership’

WAIT – Why Am I Talking?

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

I recently did a half-day communications workshop for the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) Greater Detroit Chapter.   When I asked the question, what value did you get out of today – WAIT was high on the list.

WAIT stands for “Why Am I Talking?”  It’s a reminder to, basically, shut up and listen.  Really listen.

We all have a tendency to be thinking of what we’re going to say next when the other person is talking, instead of trying to understand their point of view and their concerns.  It’s easy to understand how this can get you into trouble.

The really bad part is not only do we do that to other people, we do it to ourselves.  We don’t shut up long enough to really hear what’s going on inside our minds.  We’re thinking instead of all the things we have to do, all the things that could go wrong, what’s for dinner, what’s going on this weekend, etc. etc..

What we really all need to do is take some time on a regular basis and WAIT.  Shut up and listen to what’s really important with ourselves.   We need to really understand where we’re coming from and our own point of view. We owe as much courtesy to ourselves as we owe to others.   And in order to be able to really listen to others, we need to be able to listen to ourselves.

Practice this for a week or two, and you will be really surprised at what you may find out.  Dreams that you had all but forgotten.  Things that you thought were important really aren’t, and visa versa.  You may have been drowning out your hopes and desires for a long time.

So, this week – WAIT and let me know what you hear.

Commitments – An exercise

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Here’s a good exercise to help you focus on aligning your life with your goals and aspirations.

  1. List your top 5 commitments in life.  An example would be 1 – self-care, 2 – spouse, 3 – work, 4 – family, 5 – friends.
  2. Now track where you spend your time for a full week?
  3. Does your time reflect your commitments?  If someone else looked at how you spend your time, what would they say you were committed to?

For most of us it won’t.  For example when I look at actual time spent over the last week, it would look like I was committed to eating lots of carbohydrates, or being exhausted and fussy.

Now here’s the big step – 4.  What actions will you take on in the next week to align your life with your commitments?

Respond here and let us know.

I won’t be eating bread for the next week.  Pretty cool that it’s Passover anyway.

The Power of Responsibility

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

I talked with 2 women on the same day last week.  They were in very similar situations.  Both owned their own businesses in very similar fields.  Both were in their 50’s.  Both women enjoyed what they did.  But there the similarity ended.

One woman had, despite suffering an extremely debilitating injury,  an air of joy and peace about her that was almost palpable.  She loved what she did and it showed.  It was a joy to talk and be with her.  And it was clear that this was the experience for her staff as well.  She had loyal employees who acted as her hands when she couldn’t do something.  They had been with her a while.  They clearly enjoyed working in her business.  Business was good, even in this economy.

The second woman was clearly resentful, unhappy and unpleasant to be around.   She spent most of the time complaining and the word I heard most often was “should.”  “I shouldn’t have to tell her that.”  She didn’t feel comfortable delegating to anyone and consequently was overloaded.    Her business, despite having a good base, was not anywhere near thriving.  She also wasn’t doing the things she needed to do to grow the business.  Staff turnover was one of her biggest issues.

The main difference between the two:  Responsibility!   The first woman clearly took responsibility for her choices and saw the possibilities.  She  did not let circumstances stop her.   She just adjusted how she worked.   The second saw herself as  a victim of her business and her staff instead of empowering herself.   She let her circumstances control her decisions and consequently couldn’t get ahead.  She let herself become a victim to her fear.

Which one would you rather be?  The choice is yours.